POLICY: The owner or admin of all electronic devices should be the mother (in most cases). yes, tech geek dads must relinquish control to their wives.
Technology must include the following:
Laptop/Desktop
- Filtering Software - prevent access to inappropriate sites
- Accountability software - not just a logger, track every internet site you visit and sends a weekly report to your accountability partner. It removes the anonymity. If someone attempts to uninstall the software, the accountability partner is notified.
http://www.no-porn.com/resources.html
List of accountability software - http://www.urbanministry.org/wiki/accountability-software
Mobile
- Remove access to Safari, Youtube, App Store (through app store they can get another browser). for details http://www.quittingpornguy.com/2009/03/quitting-iphone-porn.html
- Install Filtered browsers for iphone (Example: http://www.bsecure.com/)
- Install accountbility software for iphone (waiting for x3watch and convenanteyes to get approved by apple)
Conclusion: One person should have the ultimate authority on every device, including mobile. Make it mom or some other trustworthy person. Accountability software sends them weekly or biweekly reports of chats, emails and sites visited.
I dont mind having mom the admin of all routers, PCs, and electronic devices.. But just out of curiosity why not the dads?
ReplyDeleteAlso I think more important than the filtering technology and blocking access, is to educate the kids of what is out there.. and make sure their structure is sound and solid .. their Iman is strong and hearts are taqwa hearts..
There is so much out there you can block.. you can block at home and maybe school.. but not internet cafes, friends' homes, airports, free hot spots, etc.... and then at some point in their life they will be on their own..
I think the best approach is a mix of trust, education, and controlled filtering.. Allah knows best
Address the problem from the internal and the external. Build their taqwa and prevent access to these things. You must have filters and accontability.
ReplyDeleteThe kids should also be informed that these measures are in place. The fact that they are being watched drastically reduces the intake of these things.
From anecdotal and scientific data, we see that a large portion of muslim males view porn. 1 in 5 children have been contacted by an adult for illicit purposes through social networking. Please review Yahya's post.
The other reality is that there are large number of incidents where families are breaking apart because 'dad was looking at porn'. Talk to Imams/marriage counselors throughout the country.
Let’s not forget to address accountability, by creating unique usernames and passwords for each family member. It is easier to implement the required access controls for filtering and monitoring when each person has a unique credential set.
ReplyDeleteThere are a number of ways to secure, filter and monitor your system. I am looking at moving to the Sabily OS (http://www.sabily.org/website). It is an operating system based on Ubuntu Linux, that has a number of great built in reminders that can help ones browsing experience and keep us all away from the haraam.
For web filtering I use ProCon (http://procon.mozdev.org/) for firefox.
Farhad thanks for the reminder, as Fathers we should always try to lead by example and provide a safe environment for our children, in cyber-space, their-space and our-space.
Screw that mess - I'm a dad of two little ones, really little (18mo & 4yr old) - you can control everything with the latest smart routers: website blocking, keywords, etc - popular ones such as Netgear and Linksys routers can control them best. Limit connection timings as well - no internet access between 9pm-6am, that type of thing. Bring down the hammer! Above all - block YOUTUBE - it's the biggest fitna out there if it's not used wisely...
ReplyDeleteEveryone always points the fingers regarding sex and porn addition towards the male specimen which has been the majority in the past. However, the norm are the variables in it are changing. I have heard stories and also read that there is a sexual and porn addiction amongst women and the numbers are increasing. If women start to have these addiction like men do, be prepared for a society that will be almost impossible to control.
ReplyDeleteJust my thoughts.
dude that is so true
ReplyDeleteWhen discussing internet safety from a preventive and detective measure, some of this information is very useful. However, we still need a platform to discuss the reprecussions of after you have detected your child, nephew or neice of a "wrongful incident." What do we do then? Do we implement the same failed solutions as our parents (who are usually immmmigrants) have in the past (yelling, hitting, avoidance of the subject, mixing their culture with ours, disowning your kids, etc.). We should start planning for what to do after the fact. All I'm saying is don't be shocked when things happen and be ready for it. People still can change no matter the incident that occurred and you must always remain hopeful. Allah is the one who guides and dua is a very powerful tool which we need to utilize.
ReplyDeleteBro, you are absolutely right. We definitely failed to follow through completely with the issue of internet problems and did not address what to do when you discover that your child is engaging in some wrong behavior. If you want to contribute along these lines, please let me know.
ReplyDeleteAssalamu Alaykum
ReplyDelete1. Just because statsitics say that males are the most porn viewers does not make every dad (especially Muslim dad) a porn viewer.
2. Are you implying that if I am doing something wrong as a dad, that I would be inclined to allow my child to do the same?
3. I think our children are more tech savvy than we will ever be, and to every blocking method you use, they will find 10 methods to go around it. I find that education and the environment have a large effect on our children, more than authoritarian methods.
Think of it this way, at some point your child will be on his/her own, would you keep controlling what they see even after they leave your house? Why not equip them with something that will stay with them forever?
A child takes his/her val;ues between the ages of 3 and 6, and therefore if we rais ethem well during that period then we should be ok.