Sunday, October 11, 2009

Divorce: The Day After, pt.1

I never imagined I would know so many divorcees. I am fortunate enough not to have gone through a divorce, but many, many of the brothers that I know have had to deal with divorce and its myriad ramifications.

One thing I have yet to see, on TV or the Internet or any other form of media, is what a person should do after a divorce;  what steps should a man or woman take to emotionally recover and get their lives back on track? I am prodding some of my divorcee friends to contribute to this series of articles, In Sha Allah we'll get something rolling. But one thing I can share is a website I found while trying to help out a recently divorced friend: It outlines what the US courts are going to look for when trying to determine who gets custody of the children when a divorce occurs. According to the article, the courts will try to determine who is the child's primary care giver, using the following criteria:
  • Who puts the child to bed at night?
  • Who is there when the child gets up in the morning?
  • Who helps the child get ready for their day (bathing, clothing, grooming, etc.)?
  • Who takes the child to the doctor?
  • Who plans the child’s activities?
Assuming this is accurate information, Dads and Moms have an equal chance of getting custody of the children, rather than the mother being the default choice for US courts, as is commonly believed. Allah help any of you, brother or sister, that might be going through such trying times.

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